How should a black man love a black woman?
Depending on who responds to this age old question, you may get a one word response or a long drawn out conversation that may end up in a heated debate. Ladies: the bottom line is, in your opinion, are we as black men doing everything that we can do to love you the way that you wish to be loved? Has there been growth over the last several years for our relationships to improve or have things gotten worst and if so-why?
Share some of your thoughts...let's communicate.
* Are we understanding enough as black men? What can we do to be more sensitive to your needs?
* What type of trust does it take for you to totally submit to a man?
* Are we spiritual enough? And if not, why do you think that is?
* Do you feel that we are stepping up and taking our rightful place as leaders in our communities? What can we do more of?
* Are we sexually pleasing enough? Do we put you first before our own sexual needs in most cases and if not, why do you think that is?
What can you do as our strength and wisdom to facilitate some of these improvements?
Just a few questions to open up the floodgates of understanding.
Love, Loyalty & Respect,
K. Roland
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This is a very good blog my opinion more men should see this. I will return and give my input. Again this is good.
ReplyDeleteWell Lisa, I look forward to your feminine insight.
ReplyDeleteKenneth
* Are we sexually pleasing enough? Do we put you first before our own sexual needs in most cases and if not, why do you think that is?
ReplyDeleteSexually pleasing hmmm somewhat there's always room for improvement hey why not. I believe its up to the woman to let the man know what she likes and what she would like for him do. Men don't know unless you tell them they just assume what a woman wants and that's not always the case. In today society women now have a strong sexual appetite and know exactly what they want, when they want it and how they want it and more !! If both parties are in tune with one another sexually then there will be no question the pleasing will come into play !!!
Men don’t really think of a woman needs when comes to sexually. All they think about is satisfy themselves. As long as they are satisfy it's a done deal for them. They get highly upset when they want to and we say no because we are so tired from all the work we do during the day and also to keep the household running. They don’t want to just hold or cuddle each other men thinks that sex has to be involved. When we want to and they don’t they get all mad and tell us to leave them alone. It’s never 50/50 it’s always one way. Compromise needs to play in this equation.
* Are we understanding enough as black men? What can we do to be more sensitive to your needs?
Men don’t really understand what women go through on a monthly basis. They don’t understand the whole menstrual cycle and how it affects women. They don’t understand the pain and tiredness of the whole thing and they don’t step up to the plate and help out with things (household stuff, bills, kids, etc). They just don't or they don't want to understand.
* What type of trust does it take for you to totally submit to a man?
Total commitment to a women. Which means not even thinking about how good it would be on the other side of the fence. Also know how good they do have it and never want to lose that. Once you get this trust and commitment in a relationship you can totally trust a man. I don’t know how long it takes but I do know it would be a long time. They also just don’t know how to say I love you or I missed you today. They forget that women do like a banquet of flowers every once in a while for the just because I love you and missed you today. They think by just remembering the women’s birthday, Valentines Day or there anniversaries are good enough.
*Are we spiritual enough? And if not, why do you think that is?
I don’t think they are. A lot of men are afraid of totally committing to the church. They think that their friends will look upon them differently than normal. They think going to church on holidays is good enough. If they would to go on a regular basis they would understand a lot more on life, family and most important themselves. They would learn more and understand what it takes to be in a commitment with that someone that their in a relationship with.
*What can you do as our strength and wisdom to facilitate some of these improvements?
They need to remember that this is a loving and committed relationship. They need to remember that we are not here to be there mother and take care of everything. Women do have a lot of strength to take care of a lot of things but men need to realize that they are responsible for things also. They need to not get so comfortable and think that she will take care of it all. Offer to do things around the house, go to the grocery store, take the kids to practice, pack lunches, etc. Just don’t leave it all up to the women because sooner or later she will exploded.
* Do you feel that we are stepping up and taking our rightful place as leaders in our communities? What can we do more of?
sorry can't answer this one right now !!!
*What can you do as our strength and wisdom to facilitate some of these improvements?
ReplyDeleteBeing black is hard and being a black man is even harder with all adversaries that comes against them. Black women have to be the backbone in the relationship. Ole saying goes behind a good man is a good woman. When he is in doubt be there to encourage him, when he falls support and uplift him spiritually, communicate with him give him constructive criticism on things that he may be lacking in the relationship and need but don't tear his world or knock him down with tactful sarcastic remarks because you feel you can. Be his mentor and advise him with Godly counsel and wisdom that will promote his inner man to the next level. Be his strength but also allow him to stand on his own and be the MAN God called him to be.
(I got so caught up writing this I forgot to add this originally)
Lisa,
ReplyDeleteLet me first thank you for such a thoroughly detailed response to my queries. You really had a lot to share. I have chosen not to go through line by line and comment on your opinions as they belong to you and speak for themselves. I will say that I agree over all that there is much room for improvement on the part of the man in a relationship.
If I had to choose one word that would sum up solutions for everything you mentioned above; that word would be communication. In regards to our sexuality, spirituality, submission, sensitivity etc, it would be communication.
Communication is the key to understanding and improving any situation. If we can sit across from one another and discuss our differences and needs or desires, we can conquer any adversity thrown in our path. And I would like to amend the old saying that you mention in your last paragraph...beside every strong man is a strong woman. Beside, not behind in any way!
Love Loyalty & Respect,
Kenneth
Thank U I appreciate you input !!!
ReplyDeleteNo...thank you!
ReplyDelete* Are we understanding enough as black men? ""
ReplyDeleteI would have to say ... spiritually and mentally - HAIL NAW.
I'm old old school - Meaning ... my parents were close to 38 and 40 when I was born.
There's a BIG DIFFERENCE when someone in their teens, 20's and 30's raise up a child.
Lack of respect for self and others is very strong within this age group and getting worse the younger the mother / father is.
"" What can we do to be more sensitive to your needs? ""
We as men can grow some back bones and some spines and TAKE BACK our homes, streets, neighborhoods, cities, states and then country.
Stop allowing drug dealers to move into your area and tear it up from the floor up.
Teach young men the importance of a full and powerful education and work mentality is.
* What type of trust does it take for you to totally submit to a man?
I would say it takes a real man who can love one and only one woman ... take care of home.
No need for any secret love affairs.
Makes me think ....
it would break up - both our happy homes.
Couldn't have been happy if you're cheating.
Kind of ignorant, stupid and evil all at once.
* Are we spiritual enough? And if not, why do you think that is?
The men I see ?
Tend to put cars, rims, tires, women chasing, money, power, control, guns and vagina's ... OVER GOD.
Until men can stop worshiping the above mentioned ? They will remain lost and weak.
* Do you feel that we are stepping up and taking our rightful place as leaders in our communities?
This is an obvious answer.
HAIL NO ... if they were ?
There would be many black men speaking up.
Thus ... they do like the churches do.
Hide behind their 4 walls and their comfort zones.
What can we do more of?
Get the hell out of the box ....
* Are we sexually pleasing enough?
Women also put things above GOD.
Like money, clothes, WEAVE, Make Up and a man with money .... some seem to be impossible to satisfy .... and the good ones ? Tied up with some no good slick whore because he's good in bed.